You Are Setting the Table

I am no man to stand up

To my feelings, initially disruptive.

I am a man to write it down and wonder.

Your face, in dealing with labor,

Proves beauty to be so rare

In the face of another.

You work, taking my thoughts

By surprise with the innocence

Of strong things, serious eyes,

Pursuits of which I value

More than the infatuation

That is the love of something new.

You are not new, but rather timeless

As sighs beneath sunset or sunrise,

That familiar perfection in the face

Of good dreams, where hours after

You stay under the tide of romances,

Affections, and well-taken chances.

Maybe my overcoming these feelings

By way of bold action is in contradiction

To my nature to crave

That which is out of reach

Or taste that which will destroy me.

I may need help,

For you are setting the table

And I am making much of you.

Note to my child on his or her first day

            I’m only 25 years old and it’s summer right now, but I imagine that I have learned a few things so far as a person with nearly 20 first-days of school.

            Keep your head up in every situation, whether you are wrong or right or unsure. Smile at people, especially if they look lost or sad. Not everyone is going to like you. People are going to treat you badly, and at some point, you are going to get hurt. That’s kinda the point of life. It’s hard and you are not really going to fit in.

            Some people will like you, though. They will like you for who you chose to be. Those are good people. Some of them will be your friends. Others will just be good people to you.

            Be good to the teachers and faculty you see. They are brave, lost, scared, loving, and hard-working, lazy people. Respect them for trying to take care of every child in this area. It is not easy. Your grandmother poured her heart into the lives of children just like you and me. Treat teachers like they’re trying to do that.

            I’m not sending you here to make friends or get good grades. I’m sending you here so that you can learn. Making friends and grades are parts of learning, but so are bullies and failures. I’m sending you away from our home so that you can learn something outside of where I teach and care for you. I hope that by doing this, you will learn to care for and teach yourself one day. Go learn something about something.

            I love you so much that I will allow this pain and happiness into your life. These days will change you, lift you up, and try to drown you. I pray you will reach out to me when you need a father and ask if you need a friend.

Loving you before love will bring you to me,

Dad